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Brent Oxley

Dear Mr. Oxley

Written by Brent Oxley

Friday, September 30th, 2011

I receive hundreds of emails a month from customer’s thanking me for the great service we provide and even a few letters utilizing the old fashion snail mail method.

The majority of snail mail reviews I receive are complaints about the hosting services my company has provided. The only problem is that more times then not they get my name correct and the company I own wrong.

The Letter:

I decided to have a little fun with my response to them…………

Dear Customer,

I’m emailing you in regards to a letter I received in the mail from you today. In this letter you described a few recent negative support experiences you had with Inmotion hosting. I wish I could say I’m sorry for these negative experiences you had but unfortunately I’m not.

In fact It pleases me slightly to hear about your poor experience with Inmotion. I highly recommend you take your business to hostgator.com immediately.

As owner of Hostgator I’ll do everything in my power to make sure you receive 99.9% uptime along with 24/7 quality support. If you’re interested in signing up with us I’ll be happy to give you the first 6 months of service free to try us out. I’ll also do my best to make sure that the correct owner of Inmotion gets this message. =)

Please let me know if there is anything else I can assist you with.

Sincerely,

Brent Oxley

I respectfully request that if you’re going to snail mail me a complaint that you double check that I do in fact own the company your complaining about. These things make me feel absolutely terrible up until the point where I figure out it’s the wrong company.

Just to clarify………

I do not own nor have I ever had any ownership in Inmotion.
I do not own Godaddy either. I’m not sure why but I have received multiple complaint letters with people mixing me up with them. (ewwwwwww)

Phone Calls:
I also ask that if you’re going to call our support line that you try to remember that you are calling us, and whatever you do don’t sound as crazy as this woman who called us last week……

Biggest Nerd Loser

Written by Brent Oxley

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Being a nerd has it perks, Nerds can pickup mad chicks in Second Life, Photoshop acne out of pictures, and if they’re truly 1337, even have a real life girlfriend one day. I know being a nerd sounds glamorous and all, but there are a few major drawbacks. When you’re a nerd, you usually develop a serious case of Big Bonedinitis.

In college, everyone talks about the Freshmen 15, but here at the Gator, we have what’s known as the Hatchling 40. If you come to work at the Gator, it’s usually not a question of whether or not you will gain weight, but instead a question of how much weight you’ll gain and if you’ll ever stop gaining weight. The more Linux you learn, the more weight you’re going to end up packing on.

Big Bonedinitis is no joke. It’s a real disease that destroys lives and is hitting us nerds especially hard. In fact, one of our biggest expenses here at the Gator is replacing furniture that Big Bonedinitis leaves behind in its wake. We’ve broken over 40 leather chairs in the last year alone. We go through so many chairs we now have a room designated as the chair graveyard.

A few of our wall-mounted toilets have even broken off the wall forcing us to reinforce the remaining with stacked bricks. We’ve gone through so many benches that we finally decided to upgrade to a custom built concrete bench reinforced with re-bar.

Bad Economy, Good for HostGator?

Written by Brent Oxley

Friday, February 6th, 2009

We may be calling it prematurely, but so far, this year is off to an amazing start for us ‘Gators. In January, we surpassed all of our previous sales records! We have a new record for sales on both a single day and for an entire month. I wish I could be more excited, but we are having one very serious problem.

STAFFING. Or rather, the lack of it.

Every day I wake up to read about thousands of Americans being laid off of work. Unemployment is hitting new highs in America and yet I’m being forced to, once again, slow down HostGator’s growth due to the lack of qualified employees.

It’s almost as if America’s recession needs to be a full blown depression (If we’re not already there), in order for us to find the employees we are in desperate need of.

If you are a qualified Linux or Windows system administrator in America, on unemployment, and fail to apply for a job with HostGator, you should know that you are a leech on society. There are millions of Americans out there doing everything that they can to find a job and keep themselves from starving to death while we are here begging for you to apply with us!

If you are too lazy to fill out our online job application (doesn’t take long at all), then post a comment and I’ll personally get in touch with you. If you live in another state, we’ll even provide up to $5,000 for relocation assistance to our office in Houston, TX.

The United States of America used to be the land of opportunity, but we have now become the land of bailouts and handouts. A couple days ago, I had to go to the county tax collector’s office and I couldn’t help but notice that the line wrapped outside of the building. A few months ago, I went to the Department of Motor Vehicles and it ended up taking three hours to get to the front of the line. It has been a while since I’ve been to a post office, but I can’t recall one time in my life the line wasn’t at least twenty minutes.

All You Can Eat Hosting

Written by Brent Oxley

Monday, October 20th, 2008

We have some very exciting, disturbing, shocking, and electrifying news for you!

HostGator Web Hosting is now offering UNLIMITED DISK SPACE, UNLIMITED BANDWIDTH, and UNLIMITED DOMAINS for less than ten bucks a month.

I should be telling you this is a limited time offer and to sign-up while supplies last, but I’m not going to. If you decide to wait a few months, the plan just might change to unlimited bazillion-trillion everything. If you happen to sign up before the unlimited bazillion-trillion plans are released, we’ll be happy to upgrade you free of charge. If you think this all sounds ridiculous, that’s because it is! The “new” unlimited plan is the same plan we were offering a year ago, but now we label it as unlimited.

I wanted to call the plans unlimited last time around. However, due to staffing constraints, we wouldn’t have been able to keep up with the expected growth. A year later, we are finally OVERSTAFFED and ready to change the plan. Up until now, I’ve been slowing sales down on purpose in order for our support to catch up. If history repeats itself, renaming the plan from essentially unlimited to actually “unlimited” will increase our sales by at least 30%.

It’s really that simple.

We change an unlimited plan to say “unlimited” and bam — sales increase 30%, if not more. Many people will argue that “overselling” is evil and that it’s the cause of poor hosting service. This is not the case when it’s managed correctly and the proper staffing is in place. When a hosting company hops on the overselling bandwagon, their sales usually increase exponentially. Since very few companies actually have the capacity to handle a major surge in growth, their quality of service is almost guaranteed to deteriorate.

The support problems HostGator has had in the past weren’t from “overselling.” The problems were actually a result of growing faster than we could hire and train employees.

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