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Bee Cave and The West Pole

Written by Sean Valant

Thursday, December 26th, 2013

It’s been quite a while since we shared private conversations from our internal Instant Message conference rooms.  It is often true that, as we diligently work throughout the day on our many initiatives and projects, hilarity is often ensuing in the various conference rooms.

This particular conversation was initiated by an employee in the Austin office innocently mentioning their desire for certain cookies that would necessitate a trip to Trader Joe’s in the neighboring town of Bee Cave, Texas.  This resulted in the following conversation taking place.  Before we proceed, for anyone unfamiliar, “TIL” is an acronym for “Today, I learned”:

(10:08:04 AM) Isaac: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bee_Cave,_Texas
(10:08:11 AM) Isaac: TIL there is such a thing as a west pole
(10:08:17 AM) Isaac: And it’s Bee Cave 0_o

While just about everyone is familiar with the North and South Poles, none of us knew that there was such thing as a West Pole.  However, the Wikipedia page does state: “In 2007, the Texas Legislature declared the West Pole of the Earth to be located in Bee Cave, TX.”

(10:09:39 AM) Neil: TIL that the Texas Legislature is Science-illiterate.
(10:11:38 AM) Austin: Um…Their logic is really off here: “As there are recognized and generally accepted North and South Poles on Planet Earth, there too must be East and West Poles.” …They are negating the Earth is three dimensions…
(10:12:01 AM) Isaac: Austin, you and I both know it’s flat, cause Texas.
(10:12:08 AM) Austin: ‘Merica
(10:28:00 AM) Austin: Think there is a physical pole up yet?
(10:28:29 AM) Davon: I think I’ll put one out there with an HG flag when I go out there for cookies.

So far, so good, however things then got exceptionally weird when the actual piece of legislation was located: http://www.legis.state.tx.us/tlodocs/80R/billtext/pdf/HR02933F.pdf#navpanes=0

Adopted by the House of Representatives on May 28th, 2007, this legislation states that Texas has all of the following (and we’re not even joking, please go read the exact text at the above link): bluer skies, redder sunsets, faster horses, more unique animals, the most beautiful wildflowers, fatter deer, oranger longhorns, more beautiful women, smarter children, and kinder men.

Now, as Texans we most certainly love our great state of Texas, but how is it even remotely possible to put some of these grandiose claims into an actual piece of legislation?  For example:

(10:31:30 AM) Muntek: Rofl, oranger longhorns
(10:32:18 AM) Isaac: Wow
(10:32:24 AM) Isaac: Just reading the first paragraph
(10:33:17 AM) Davon: So I can literally say, I’m gonna have to drive to the West Pole for cookies.

And drive to the West Pole for cookies, he did.

Posted in

Comedy
Comments

4 Responses to Bee Cave and The West Pole

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  4. paul samson says:

    This is funny, would the most westerly point be somewhere on the equaiter? Also the furthest easterly point is your closest westerly point.

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