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Office Shenanigans, part III: Snappy Gets Kidnapped

Written by Sean Valant

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

The day began innocently enough, but things rapidly escalated.  See, Snappy most often hangs out in one particular spot in the Houston office, as shown below.  He seems to prefer this spot, it gives him a nice view of the fish tank to his right and he and Shelby can talk to each other all day; they keep each other entertained and they simply enjoy sharing their work day with each other.  See how happy they are together:

 

However, on this day something was different.  Snappy had found his way into the foyer of the Houston office, apparently in order to greet his colleagues on their way into work.  Nothing wrong with that, as Snappy is well liked and always visible around the office.  As the early morning faded towards lunch time, reports came in about how Snappy was now riding the elevators up and down, making small talk with everyone as they travelled between floors.  Nothing exceptionally wrong with this circumstance, either.

Things began getting sketchy in the early afternoon, when no one had heard from or seen Snappy for a while.  There wasn’t any immediate cause for alarm, as Snappy is a grown up (as far as we know) and always tends to eventually turn up in one place or another.

Then everything took a left turn.  The following ransom note was found taped to a monitor on the 4th floor: “If you want to see Snappy again bring 1,000 marshmallows to the 3rd floor.”

 

Now, it’s a fact that that gators love marshmallows (google it).  As such, we began to be concerned that this kidnapping may actually be an inside job.  Also, the fact that the note instructed us to bring the ransom to the 3rd floor.  These hooligans were right here in the building!

How sad Shelby was that Snappy had been abducted:

 

As we began preliminary plans to execute a rescue mission, another email was received with the following image:

 

Things just got real. They truly did have Snappy, in an undisclosed section of the 3rd floor of this very building. Amid the rush of adrenaline we were collectively experiencing, we began locking and loading our Nerf guns. Just as we were mounting up, another image was received:

 

Apparently Snappy had retaliated and attacked one of his captors! Snappy does not negotiate with terrorists. As we made our way to the 3rd floor, we were nearly trampled by Snappy’s former captors, running at full speed around the corner. We turned the aforementioned corner and saw the following:

 

Apparently, they had backed Snappy into this corner with no access to marshmallows, but curiously they gave him full access to a myriad of coffee filters, dipping sauces, assorted seasoning and various other condiments:

 

The present whereabouts of the former captors remain a mystery. However, we apparently now have some current openings for System Administrators. If you know Linux and have an appreciation for coffee filters, dipping sauces, assorted seasoning and various other condiments, then please consider coming to work with us. Attempting to abduct Snappy is, as always, at your own risk.

As evening set in, Snappy was escorted back to his proper place; he and Shelby lived happily ever after:

Posted in

Comedy, Office Shenanigans
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